Why United Airlines Was Right

This post is definitely not satire </sarcasm>

So I’m probably the most able person to defend the actions of United Airlines. The reason for this is I have literally zero knowledge about the incident. I haven’t seen the footage, but have seen enough memes to form an opinion on the matter.

Yes...they were horribly horribly wrong
Was United Airlines really wrong?

***whispered while momentarily breaking character*** (yes, they were horribly, horribly wrong)

Maritime law means everything and anything is allowed to prevent a mutany

First of all, they were in the sky so maritime law applies. Don’t question this previous statement. Now many of you might say “but Shane, the airplane was on the ground.” I laugh at your logic, hahahaha.

Basic human rights in all forms

Secondly, human rights apply to everyone despite what some of you may think. This man had the right to buy an airline ticket and board the plane. He also had the right to be brutally beaten and dragged off the plane in a horrible way. For those of you saying this shouldn’t have happened you are stepping on his rights to let people violently attack him.

An elaborate rouse

It was all an act. If you look closely you can see that the “blood” on his face is actually strawberry jam. The staff unwillingly helped this so-called doctor carry out his dramatized performance even though it broke their hearts to do so. It was all part of this “doctor’s” plan to give validity to call in sick the next day.

The final message

In closing, if you want to be allowed your basic human rights to receive a beating you never asked for after paying your hard earned money on a ticket you never intended on using because you wanted to stage an elaborate rouse then you should be allowed to do so.
(Also, I am in no way making fun of the victim of this incident. This post is brimming with sarcasm in order to point out how ridiculously insane and horrible the actions of United Airlines and the authorities were)

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